Two Family Members Grow Through "A Real Pain" Together

What struck me about A Real Pain when our lead character first meets with his cousin Benji (played with quirky humanity by Kieran Culkin) is that we are not only instantly brought in by his charm, but we also realize we know someone like this in our own lives. This is the kind of person who is outgoing, seems to have a heart of gold, and can charm himself out of any situation. This is also the kind of person who does weird things like hanging out at the airport for fun and giving out guru advice to strangers, all while his own secure future appears to be in doubt. Jesse Eisenberg (who also directs, writes, and portrays Benji's cousin David) has crafted a brilliant human drama that likely would have felt right at home in cinemas in the mid-'70s and late '80s.

A Real Pain is likely going to be seen on streaming in the long run (a format that does not diminish the story, to be clear), yet it feels special to watch this movie on the big screen, where the emotions of the two cousins can be truly absorbed, and the audience is allowed to get a glimpse into their souls. A Real Pain is also a moving film, as these two cousins are not just reuniting; they are going on a journey to Poland to retrace the steps of their grandmother's life. She was a survivor of WWII and has recently passed away. Her loss is eating both of them up, but thankfully, she left them money they can use to learn more about her life before she fled to America.

The emotions that arise from this trip are as complicated as they are authentic. Benji is the more emotional of the two, carrying a sense of survivor's guilt that he struggles to put into words. I can relate. I was named after an uncle I never met because he died before I was born. My parents named me after him to honor his legacy. One year, my parents took me to his grave. Despite never meeting him, I was met with an overwhelming sadness at the lost opportunity, as a feeling of grief I cannot explain to this day overwhelmed me. While I didn't have a breakdown, Benji's unexplainable grief connected with me in a way that I was not expecting.

The brilliance of A Real Pain is that this is a story that taps into the kind of pain that humans feel when they retrace the steps of lost family members. There is an undeniable (almost spiritual) bond God seems to have given us with our own blood, and we experience their pain in ways that don't make logical sense, but we feel it anyway. It is real. It is human. For all intents and purposes, Eisenberg captured an aspect of human life that most people don't discuss. At the risk of sounding like a soundbite, it was a great comfort to watch A Real Pain.