Epic Storytelling Falls Flat in "Avengers: Age of Ultron"

This review was originally published in 2015. Except for cleaning up some spelling errors, it is being republished as is.

They say everyone has a breaking point, and with “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” I may have just found mine when it comes to writing about superhero movies. Last year, I applied to join a film critics guild so I could officially say I’d “made it” in this business, but I was turned down due to rudimentary writing and repetitive coverage. I looked at my top ten latest reviews at the time and realized they were almost all for superhero films. These are actually the most difficult reviews to write—they may be fun in the moment, but rarely do they rise above baseline entertainment, which doesn't leave much of a lasting impression. I tell you this not to solicit sympathy, but so you understand that uninspiring films inevitably lead to uninspired writing.

Now I have to cover “Avengers: Age of Ultron,” the sequel to the colossal 2012 blockbuster “The Avengers” and a major cornerstone of Phase Two in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. After nearly two and a half hours of non-stop explosive noise, I have to throw my hands in the air in defeat: I just can't bring myself to care about this perfunctory affair any longer. The story goes as follows: Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, witty banter, fight, fight, fight, fight, bad guy monologue, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, detour to fight the Hulk, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, end credits scene setting up the next movie.

You might look at that last paragraph as a complete waste of space that displays zero creativity, but it is the most honest summary of this film you are likely to read. That paragraph represents the exact amount of narrative effort put into the final product. The movie is so uninterested in why anything happens that it opens with the Avengers storming a Sokovian fortress without providing an ounce of context regarding why they are there or what they are trying to retrieve. If you expect the screenplay to fill in those blanks later, you have higher expectations for this film than it deserves. But at least the characters are all here, right?

Yes, they are. Captain America, Black Widow, Thor, Hawkeye, Hulk, and personal favorite Iron Man (played once more by Robert Downey Jr. in his expected scene-stealing manner) are all present and accounted for. Frankly, though, I find I don't care anymore. The first time these characters assembled, I squealed like a ten-year-old kid. Now that they are together again, I want them to actually do something other than pummel endless armies of nameless CGI drones. In the first film, it was aliens; now, it's robots. In both scenarios, the enemies multiply so relentlessly that they start to resemble swarms of ants. Watching these mighty superheroes plow through identical waves of bots stops being exciting before the action even gets under way. At this point, it would be far more entertaining to watch them play a round of golf together.

In retrospect, what saved the first film was its villain—Loki—who might not have been much of a physical match, but possessed immense charisma. This time around, the antagonist is Ultron (James Spader), a rogue AI created by Tony Stark to safeguard humanity who immediately decides to eradicate it the moment he gains consciousness. Why does Ultron want to destroy the world? The film never bothers to give him a coherent rationale. We learn he has a bizarre obsession with the song “I've Got No Strings” from Disney's “Pinocchio,” but why he connects to that song is entirely beyond the capabilities of this screenplay to explain. Did Stark happen to have a copy of the movie in his digital cloud when Ultron hacked his systems? Or was this just shameless subliminal cross-promotion on Disney's part? Never mind.

“Avengers: Age of Ultron” is an overstuffed, bloated affair that feels like two movies mashed into one, yet it is somehow nowhere near the game-changer it purports to be. Of course, how could it be, when every character on screen already has two more sequels planned on the release schedule? At this point, these heroes are simply too profitable to risk killing off in any permanent, meaningful way. As a result, nothing ever feels like it's genuinely at stake. The film was written and directed by Joss Whedon, who has already mentioned that an extended cut will be coming to home video. Is that his roundabout way of admitting the theatrical release isn't the movie he actually wanted to make?

It's hard to say. What is easy to say is that this feels like one of the most undeserving tentpole blockbusters in recent memory. It isn't just that the film is bad; it is bad in a lazy, cynical way that knows an eager audience will shell out money regardless of quality. We have reached a point of severe franchise fatigue, where the final product will be celebrated by millions purely out of brand familiarity, despite the obvious lack of craft on display. That “Avengers: Age of Ultron” will be a monster box-office hit is a calculated certainty. What is equally true is that it stands as one of the year's most disappointing cinematic misfires.